Goodbye

Write to me, I heard you say at last,
knowing well I would not,
no matter how politely you ask.

Yet, here I am scribbling this note
"I loved you , a little even now,
but We are not the same anymore"

"I have moved back to my past,
of lonely libraries, books and strangers
who turn away when they notice my scars"

"You have many roads to chose
wherever you might want to go,
my wishes you will not lose.

"Take this fading paper with you,
as you leave a trail of memories behind,
I will miss you a little,knowing you would too"

Image Source  - Magpie tales
for April A to Z challenge , Writer's Digest PAD day#3

Carton

Life is a voyage

And I live it out of the boxes –

Those fixed shape , brown color ones;

That I call as cartons

‘cause it has car in it.

I need a car –

And a driver too for this life

One who would let me

Observe and explore

From the passenger side

And listen to all the things I say

With most inaccuracy

And as much conviction.

It is in these cartons

That I will pack each week

Clearly labeled and sorted,

Preserved in old newspapers

And cushioned with the words.

Each carton I would then throw away

To the endless roads in life

And wish my experiences reach

Some dreamer like me
Who woyld follow the trails
and find me some day
Sitting idle on another road
Sorting my lonely carton
While others pass me by,
He alone would stop
And match the signs,
Match his heart to mine,
And make me his home-
No longer living out of a box
But for this shiny carton full of love.

Be

To be or not to be is an old delimna. What to be and what not to be is my current thought.

Be strong,
Be confident,
Be proud,
Be the best.

But more than that , i do not just want to be the way i am 'cause thats the only thing i know for now. Neither i can be any and all of these just by thinking. I rather want to become.

Become brave
Become confident
Become wiser
Become observant

How to be like this is what haunts me. I do not know wether am i doing it right. Or whom to seek feedback from when in doubt. But i am willing to keep seeking till i have the answers or a path forward to become the person i want to be. To be happy from myself and be able to challenge all odds. To be able to love myself as much as i love the people who matter.

Accept

Accept what is,
Without bias,
Without fear.

Think it as
A beginning
Of new reality

Or maybe
It will end
All that is dear.

Accept yourself
Just the way you are
Uniquely flawed,

This could be
The very end
Of all masks

Or the birth
Of someone
You better hide.

Accept the challenge
To explore
And question

End the silence
That makes
Most noise n head,

Let the music play
Welcome
A new you.A new way.

.....

Written for A to Z challenge , poetic asides Poem A Day challenge

love

"you don't have time to talk your wife!" She tossed her opinion mixed with question at the shadow spread on the floor. He looked up from his journal with an amused smile saying, "but i do love you. Now let me make tea for us".

"Thank god for tea love", she giggled.

Street news

As soon as I read the theme , I knew the pic I would use.  This is the old street we lived before we moved into an apartment in a closed neat and clean colony. I never knew that it would make me write a hindi verse. I have done the translation in english below that :

Galiyon ke kisse
Ma se suna karte the,
Jab padosi
Rakhte the khabar
Ek dusre ki ..
Ab bas dikhte hai
Band darwaaje
Aur aasmaan ko jaati
Khali seediyaan.
Zindagi lift se
Upar neeche safar karti hai.


Mom used to tell
Street news
When neighbors
Kept tab on each other;
Life now travels silently
In building lifts
While closed doors stare
At the empty stairs
Reaching the skies.

Free to fly

The feet tapped to the music,she hummed along mindlessly. Suddenly she looked at her feet , the trinklets , the toe rings and she smiled at the symbols which others consider as being tied down. She on the other hand had found her wings. As she turned back to her work ,she scribbled this -

Sometimes freedom is in being trapped by love, with love. 

A friendship lost

The tapestry with its myriad colors,
Where they once promised
To keep adding layers,
Of fun, adventure and tears;
Its colors have begun to fade
And the threads have come apart,
But it all wouldn't have mattered
Till the unsaid words seeped in,
Gradually it dissolved the plot
The blank canvas stretched on,
Mocking them both -
The one who never saw it coming
One who lived it all the while,still fearing so
A friendship now only alive in memories,
A friendship now lost.

Tum sang jeevan

Ghadi ka zamaana to hai nahi
Ki baar baar kalai dekhun,
Phone par nazar rehti hai lekin
Ki kab tum ko yaad aa jaaye,

Chai ki pyaali to milti nahi daftar me,
Jis se chuskiyaan li jaaye,
Kaghaz ke glass se thodi garmi le leti hoon,
Baaki kami subah wali chai ki yaad puri karti hai

Daftar se saath saath lautna to mumkin nahi,
Na hi ye kismat ki intezaar main.karun,
Tumko dekhne ki talab fir bhi waisi hai,
Din ki baat karte hue raat ki lori wahi hai.

Zndagi me jis khushi ka socha nahi,
Wo mil jaati hai teri baahon me,
Usko sametne ko ek janam kaafi nahi hoga,
Agle janam fir tumse milun,wo aas hai aankhon me

messages from God

When i was in school , i read one of the book from the series "Conversation with God". I really liked the concept for the book and that book is partly the reason I prefer to talk to God like i would talk to mother ( vice versa is true too ) .

But what i have always remembered from that book is that God sends us messages in many ways - song lyrics , some lines in a book , a story sone one told you and so on. It depends on you to recognize it and use the message for your good.

Why i mention it today is 'cause twice since morning i happen to hear and notice sonething that i am not sure how and if at all is meant for me , but it did give me a direction for today .

First was my horroscope ( i usually change the tv channel but not today ) that said 2 thibgs - to keep in touch with friends and secondly not to let my troubles affect my moods and actions too much. I need to stablize myself and i swear i feel close to a breakdown if i don't check myself.

Second is a song i have been listening non stop from last 2 days but today suddenly my attention was grabbed by the below lines -

Lok laaj ki soch ke kyon hai aafat dali,
Tu le naam khuda ka ali ali ..


( why are you so bothered of what society thinks of you , you just keep god's name in your heart .. )

Yes dear God, i been angry with you for the troubles you have sent my way but i am thankful too for the supporting husband and the caring friends you gave me. I know I do not pray much and remember you only when distressed but i never forget that all i am is your blessings on me.

So keep me blessed.
And i will try to be a better human being from today and now.

A line from same song -

Maine to tere utte chaddiya doriyaan ..

( i have surrendered myself to you.. )

greater good

Every one was troubled with the smell of diseased skin and the ugly face of death mocking them, but no one dared to touch the corpse. They blamed his karma for the sad death. No one said he died 'cause they would not let him in. He was a leper, thrown out for "greater good"

just another day

She looked deep into her eyes. Years of surviving in this harsh world had not taken away the shine from the eyes, but there was a new resolve in them. To be hopeful and strong on all days.

She turned away from the mirror and started another day in her life. Like every other day.

Dreams

This wasn't what she wanted. She cursed the creature with tiger face attached to the body of a human being, some more; followed by real colorful swears for herself. She had spent ten thousand bucks to have a dream boyfriend, royal like a tiger...  If only her dream that night was .. sigh ! 

weighty issues

"I weigh the same" she sighed. He faced his wife standing on the scale at 6 am. Before he could suggest it was good , she added , " the dresses don't fit me"

He smiled at her , and inviting her in his arms, and  whispered "that's my love added on you". Sensible or not , she accepted it.

the kiss

"He leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her trembling lips. She reciprocated the kiss with passion.."


He closed his diary with a proud smile.His date did not know how to kiss and it was awkward for both, but who wrote such things, he argued with his reflection and went to bed.

Rains

Just when we were leaving home , the rains arrived, making holes muddy and people , run for shelter. But he walked slowly, without care. Raindrops hit him hard, and he smiled at their prank. Pulling him under my umbrella, i scolded him while i myself thought of a rain drenched walk after dropping him at school.